Sunday, August 15, 2010

Mommy brain

Since getting pregnant with Piper, I have noticed a sharp decline in my brain functions.  I am in no way joking!  Before kids, my memory was sharp.  I remembered all kinds of trivial things.  Now, I'm lucky if I only call Colbie by the wrong name a total of 10 times in one day  instead of 50.

I lose everything, too.  At least once a week I misplace my wedding rings.  I call my mom panicking, only to find them in a pocket, drawer, or even a shoe.  It became such a regular occurrence that for Christmas my mom bought me a crystal ring holder to put by the sink.

Nothing is safe. Nothing. Not shoes, money, books, diaper covers... well, you get the idea.  But what is even worse than losing the item is that I won't realize it is even missing for days.

About a month ago, my mom and I took Piper to pick out her "big girl" panties.  While trying to decide between Dora and Minnie Mouse,  Piper yells at the top of her lungs  "I went poo poo!"  She hadn't, but what she did do was pee all over the floor.  Right in the middle of the aisle. ( Did I mention that there were people everywhere?)  I rushed her to the family bathroom to clean her up and remember that I left the diaper bag in the car (Helloooo, Mommy brain!).  So, my poor pee soaked child and I made our way back to where my mom was diligently diverting traffic away from the puddle.  I clean up the mess, grab the stupid panties and head to the checkout.

While waiting to pay for the panties, Piper spies a toy cell phone that the store had ever so conveniently displayed right at her level.   Of course, this leads to the "I want this" and the "I need it" pleads.  I tell her no, so she lays on the floor pouting.  Somehow, I manage to make it to the car with all of my hair still attached to my head.  I change Piper's clothes and we head home.

Two days later, Matt wakes me up around midnight and asks me if I know where my wallet is.  I brush him off.  He tells me to get out of bed and get it.  Thoroughly pissed, I get out of bed to retrieve my wallet from my bag.  Only, it isn't in my bag.  And it isn't in any of my usual "OMG I can't find my wallet!" places.  Matt tells me as I am looking under couch cushions that there have been 3 purchases posted to our account in the last 3 hours.  The problem  is that we have both been home all night.  And since I don't know where my wallet is, I am most likely the person that gave someone free gas.

I know that people lose their wallets all the time (at least I am hoping that is the case) but how many don't notice it for two days.  I honestly wonder how much time would have passed if some bloke had not decided to take advantage of my mommy brain.

There are two lessons to learn here:

#1.   Hold onto your wallet so you don't give away free gas.


#2.   Never take a child who is in the process of getting potty trained to a store without a diaper.

1 comment:

  1. You poor thing. My younger sister called the condition Bubble Gum Brain. That's why she went back to work after the kids hit elementary school. She said if she didn't she knew those brain cells would be long gone.
    I hope you got all the credit cards and such cancelled, and put out alerts at the credit reporting agencies. I hope you have LifeLock.